September 2008

Alien Abduction in Kamini

Summer was nearly over, most of the tourists had gone home, and the island was ours again. Not that we mind the holiday makers. Au contraire! Most of them are quite generous and friendly, often stopping for a little chat. Still, it was nice to have some peace and quiet in the village for a change.

It was that time of year when it’s still lazy-warm and the cold, wet winter remains a distant concern. I was lounging in my favorite spot, on a doorstep overlooking the Saronic, soaking up the afternoon sun, when They came, disguised as late summer tourists.

“Here kitty-kitty. Tut-tut-tut.”

They approached in a most beguiling manner, one waving a tantalizingly smelly tin, the other straggling behind lugging what looked like a square suitcase oddly draped in cloth. Normally I allow such specimens to stroke my chin if they choose to as they pass, but then, one approached even closer, and I heard,

Clink, clink, clink. “Hello, little kitty. Who wants a yummy snack? How about a tasty sardine for the nice kitty?”

Never one to say no to such delicacies, despite the baby talk, even in the height of summer, I popped up to receive this kind surprise treat—and that’s when it happened.

Without warning, I found myself grabbed by the scruff of the neck and stuffed unceremoniously into the suitcase, which, as it turned out, was a plastic cage. The gate slammed shut like a prison door before I had time to retaliate and make my assailant bleed.

Then they covered me with the cloth and, grunting and panting, carried me through miles of enemy territory. Though I couldn’t see where they were taking me, my nose told me we’d long left the village. When at long last we arrived at their lair, others were waiting. They removed the sheet and my captors peered down at me for a while, smiling and nodding, apparently quite proud of themselves for their treachery. I was not their sole victim. I could smell others of my kind in the room, but they were all strangely silent.

Suddenly, my cage began to shrink, compressing me until I was trapped between its sides, unable to move a claw. Then, one of Them approached … and everything went black.

I awoke, mysteriously transported back to my old doorstep, with a tremendous hangover. I wondered at first if the whole thing had been a terrible dream. But I have evidence. My abductors shaved my flank. I don’t know what they did there—it’s a little sore—but life has definitely been different since. None of the local guys, usually so demanding and persistent, give me a second glance anymore. Some actually avoid me! I honestly can’t say I mind. I might actually get some rest this winter.

I’ve since spoken to a few of my girlfriends in the neighborhood who also claim to have had this bizarre experience to similar happy effect. I’ve asked a couple of the guys, but they either yawn indifferently and tell me they have no idea what I'm talking about, or they slink away quickly, muttering. I don’t suppose everyone's terribly happy about the recent changes. We’ll have to see how it goes, but I’m beginning to think these aliens did us a huge favor.

HydraArk brought two Irish vets to the island who spayed/neutered and treated around 60 cats
in mid-September. To learn how you can help, please visit www.HydraArk.org for details.